Familiar Strangers

I started going to a spinning class at my gym in January. I’ve gone to spinning on and off for years and every time I get back into it I become used to seeing a core set of people. I look forward to seeing them, though I don’t know their names or anything about them. When I miss the class, I feel bad about it, not just for the skipped exercise, but for the missed familiar faces. When they don’t show up, as was the case this morning, I notice.

Stanley Milgram was a social psychologist who described these kinds of people as “familiar strangers.” A familiar stranger is a person who is recognized in day to day activities, such as riding the train or sitting in the coffee shop, but with whom one doesn’t interact. Oddly, if you see a familiar stranger outside of your regular context, you may be more likely to speak to them.

I believe we have real relationships with familiar strangers. With some we may agree to ignore each other; with others a small nod or wave is expected. Either way, familiar strangers can bring routine and comfort into an often hurried life. Yet, familiar strangers are unique to the offline world. As we spend more of our lives online, I wonder if they will exist online too. I encourage you to look around today. Who are the familiar strangers in your life, both online and offline?

About the author: Sarita Yardi (@yardi) is a PhD student in the School of Interactive Computing at Georgia Tech. Her research is on social uses of technology.