Listening to Your Heart

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

On a cold winter’s day in January 2003, I woke up with what I thought was a severe case of indigestion.  In spite of shortness of breath, nausea, and pains in my back, I ignored the symptoms and was determined to make it through the day at work and my team taught class of 1^st graders.  By mid-morning, though, I was so nauseous I could barely stand and was concerned I might pass out in front of some very impressionable six year olds.   Concerned I might faint and frighten the children, I went to my principal, who upon seeing my pallid appearance, ordered me home immediately. 

My mother drove me to my physician because I was too sick to drive.  Because I had a history of high cholesterol, my physician decided to run an EKG.  The next few hours were a blur of nitroglycerin, a ride in an ambulance to the emergency room, and admission to the cardiac unit of North Fulton Hospital mixed with disbelief and worry that I would miss the first night of my final semester of master’s degree studies.  

Sometimes we ignore our hearts, literally and figuratively.  We ignore the warning signs and try to rationalize the signals our heart is sending us, the signals that tell us that contrary to overwhelming logical evidence, something just is not right.    We explain away the signals and rationalize why we should ignore those nagging feelings something is “off” because it sometimes feels safer to not act at all.  Maybe it is because we’re taught to make decisions based on facts and evidence, rather than emotion and intuition, we develop the habit of ignoring the messages our hearts send us.  My epiphany today is that having the faith to trust your heart can be difficult even when experience tells you it is the right thing to do.  I sometimes think we are afraid to trust our hearts because it means facing the reality of uncertainty, the end of a dream, or the challenge of change.  However, ignoring our hearts ultimately is more painful and harmful over time that acting on our intuition.   How do you learn to trust your heart in our data, logic- driven world?

About the Author: Buffy Hamilton (@buffyjhamilton) is an educator with a large heart. A NSBA Top 20 To Watch and ALA Mover and Shaker, she is the founding media center librarian at Creekview High School's "Unquiet Library."

Editor's Note: Buffy wrote and submitted this post to edu180atl as promised before heading to the ER to check on her heart.  Although the word count is  longer than the limit, the editor decided that this time every word mattered.

Image Credit: Love is in the air by Flickr member smilingbluedog, accessed April 20. 2001 10:45 pm